Put Your Big Girl Pants On: Own It, Rule It, Conquer It

We are not here to blend in. Be like a herd of sheep. Or people pleasing doormats seeking validation from everyone around us, either through social media or the people around us and in our lives.

We are here to rise, claim our space, and be the unapologetic, and fully authentic versions of ourselves we were created to be.

So, why do so many play small?

Not saying what you really mean? Doing the things that you genuinely desire to do, say or BE?

Every challenge, every decision, every opportunity presents you with a choice.

You can play it safe, meet expectations, or rise above and dominate the field. And make no mistake—the choice you make doesn’t just define the outcome; it defines you.

Do you want to stay in your comfort zone, wondering why the life you want always feels just out of reach?

Do you want to keep playing by rules that were never designed for you to win?

Or are you ready to step up, take control, and conquer everything standing in your way?

This isn’t about settling for “good enough.” It’s about owning your power, thriving relentlessly, and creating a life so unapologetically yours that it leaves no room for regret.

The path isn’t always easy, but it’s there, waiting for you to choose it. And that choice begins right here, right now, with one question:

Where do you stand—and more importantly, where are you going?

The Three Ways to Navigate Life’s Challenges

In every situation, there are three ways people show up. These aren’t just behaviors; they’re mindsets, deeply rooted in how you view yourself and the world around you.

Let’s break them down.

The Comfort Seeker: Master of Masks

The Comfort Seeker is the one who stays in their safe zone, avoiding risk, confrontation, and anything that might challenge the stability they cling to so tightly. They’re skilled at blending in, at smoothing things over with others, often at the expense of their own authenticity.

How They Show Up:

• • Avoidance Over Action: They avoid risks, sidestep challenges, and retreat when faced with discomfort. The idea of stepping into the unknown feels too overwhelming, so they stick to what feels familiar—even if it’s no longer serving them.
  • People Pleasers in Disguise: Comfort Seekers are experts at keeping the peace. They go out of their way to ensure everyone around them is happy, often wearing different masks to fit the expectations of others. They say “yes” when they mean “no” and suppress their own needs to avoid rocking the boat.
  • Hesitant Followers: They wait for someone else to lead, stepping in only when the path is clearly paved. Making bold decisions feels too risky, so they follow the crowd instead of forging their own path.
  • Fragile Under Pressure: When things are calm, they manage well. But when the pressure builds, they defer responsibility, hoping someone stronger will take over.

The Pain of Wearing the Mask:
Living as a Comfort Seeker comes with a quiet, constant ache. They know, deep down, that they’re capable of more, but fear keeps them tethered to mediocrity.

They may settle for a relationship or marriage that is deeply toxic under the surface.

The masks they wear to appease others only create distance between who they are and who they want to be. They smooth things over, pretending everything is fine, but inside, there’s a gnawing dissatisfaction—an emptiness that comes from suppressing their true self.

They seek validation through keeping others happy, yet feel invisible in the process. They wonder why no one truly sees them, not realizing it’s because they’ve hidden behind so many layers to fit in.

They may do things because they are the “popular” thing to do. Or because “so and so said so, so it must be true” – essentially believing something without listening to themselves or doing their own research.

The Question They Must Answer:
How much longer can you live for the comfort of others? How much of your potential are you willing to sacrifice to keep things smooth and safe?

Breaking Free From the Comfort Seeker Mindset

Being a Comfort Seeker isn’t a permanent state—it’s a mindset that can be transformed. But it requires letting go of the masks, embracing discomfort, and stepping into authenticity.

Here’s how to start:

1. 1. Drop the Mask: Start small by speaking your truth in moments where you’d usually stay silent. Whether it’s voicing your opinion in a meeting or setting boundaries in a relationship, let people see the real you.
   2. Welcome Discomfort: Understand that discomfort is a sign of growth. It’s not something to avoid but a tool to push you forward. The more often you experience this discomfort, the stronger you will become—mentally and emotionally.
   3. Stop Seeking Approval: The only approval that matters is your own. When you prioritize your values and needs over others’ expectations, you reclaim your power.
   4. Take One Bold Step: Choose one area of your life where you’ve been playing it safe and make a bold move. Apply for that job, have the tough conversation, or try the thing you’ve been avoiding.

The Power of Owning Who You Are

When Comfort Seekers take off their masks and allow themselves to truly step into their authenticity, something remarkable happens.

They begin to see themselves clearly—perhaps for the very first time. The fear of rejection starts to fade, replaced by the quiet pride of living life on their own terms.

The weight of pretending, of trying to fit into molds created by others, lifts. They realize that being liked isn’t the same as being respected. And most importantly, they understand that the only approval they truly need is their own.

The Shift From Comfort to Courage

Moving away from the Comfort Seeker mindset isn’t about dramatic, sweeping changes—it’s about small, deliberate steps forward. Every time you say “no” to smoothing things over or following the crowd, and “yes” to standing in your truth, you take a step closer to the life you’re meant to live.

This is about choosing courage over comfort. It’s about accepting that discomfort is part of the process, and that growth comes from leaning into it, not avoiding it.

Ask Yourself:

• • Are you tired of hiding behind the mask to keep the peace?
  • Are you ready to stop living for others’ expectations and start living for yourself?

The world doesn’t need another person pretending to be someone they’re not. What it needs is the real, unapologetic you. Step into that truth, and you’ll discover the strength you’ve had all along.

The Ambitious Striver: Chasing Applause, Not Owning the Stage

The Ambitious Striver craves success but thrives most when there’s a safety net in place. They prepare endlessly, rehearse every move, and meticulously calculate each step to ensure they’re in the best possible position to win. For a Striver, the idea of failure is paralyzing, so they avoid it at all costs—even if it means holding back when they’re capable of more.

Strivers don’t lack ambition; they lack the willingness to take uncalculated risks. They’re players in the game, but they often hesitate when it’s time to step out of their comfort zone and lead.

How Strivers Show Up

• • Perfectionism Over Progress: Strivers aim for flawless execution, spending more time perfecting details than taking action. They’re caught in a cycle of “ready, set… wait.”
  • Validation Seekers: Applause and recognition fuel them. If no one notices their hard work, their drive begins to fade.
  • Controlled Risk Takers: They’ll leap—only if the net is visible. Unpredictable situations make them retreat or second-guess their abilities.
  • Overthinkers: Strivers analyze every scenario before acting, fearing the chaos of improvisation.

The Masks They Wear

Strivers often wear masks to hide their insecurities. They’ll project confidence, control, and determination to those around them, but inside, they’re battling the fear of falling short.

They try to smooth things over with others, maintaining an image of composure while secretly seeking approval. They can’t help but wonder: What will they think of me if I fail?

The Pain of Striving

While Strivers achieve success, it often comes with a heavy cost. Their constant need to prepare, perfect, and seek external validation holds them back from true fulfillment.

• • Living for the Applause: Strivers often find themselves in a loop—working hard, achieving a win, receiving praise, and then chasing the next round of applause. The joy of success is fleeting because it’s rooted in what others think, not what they truly want.
  • Paralyzed by “What Ifs”: Fear of failure keeps Strivers stuck. They miss opportunities because they’re too busy waiting for the “right time” or making sure everything is perfect.
  • Burnout from Over-Preparation: Their endless drive to perfect every detail leaves them exhausted, often wondering if the effort is worth the reward.
  • Disconnected from Authenticity: Strivers spend so much energy shaping how others see them that they lose touch with who they really are and what they want.

What Strivers Need to Realize

You can’t plan your way to greatness. Growth and progress require action—even when you’re uncertain. Strivers need to understand that waiting for the perfect moment often means missing the moment altogether.

Questions for Reflection

If you see yourself as a Striver, ask yourself:

1. 1. Am I making decisions based on my goals, or am I afraid of what others might think?
   2. What risks am I avoiding, and why?
   3. Am I holding back from taking action because I’m waiting for the “perfect” conditions?

Striving is a step beyond comfort, but it’s still a step short of true freedom and fulfillment. Strivers must break free from the chains of approval, let go of perfection, and take action despite the unknown. Only then can they unlock their true potential.

The Conqueror: Owning It, Ruling It, and Thriving in the Zone

Now let’s talk about the Conqueror.

This is the woman who doesn’t just show up—she commands. She walks into any room with presence and purpose. She doesn’t wait for permission, doesn’t explain herself, and sure as hell doesn’t back down.

But here’s the thing about being a Conqueror: it’s not about perfection. It’s about trusting yourself completely, operating in the Zone, and creating the life you want—on your terms.

Are You a Conqueror?

You’ll know if you are.

• • You take action, even when the situation is messy.
  • Pressure doesn’t shake you—it fuels you.
  • You don’t crave applause because you’re too busy delivering results.

Conquerors don’t wait for the stars to align. They align themselves with what needs to be done and do it.

The Key to Being a Conqueror: Trust Yourself

In retrospection—I’ve always been a Conqueror. It’s how I’ve moved through life. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have moments where the perfectionism of a Striver sneaks in.

There have been times when I’ve hesitated, second-guessed, or overthought. But the truth is, a Conqueror doesn’t live in that space for long.

The key is trust.

When you trust yourself, you don’t need perfect conditions. You don’t need to know every step of the way. You act boldly because you know you’ll figure it out as you go.

I’ve trusted myself in situations where others might have waited. Whether it’s been in my career, my relationships, or my personal growth, I’ve learned that staying in the Zone is what makes the difference.

Living in the Zone: The Conqueror’s Powerhouse

The Zone is not a place you stumble into—it’s a state you create. It’s where clarity and purpose collide, and every move feels instinctive.

When I’m in the Zone, nothing can touch me. Distractions fade, overthinking disappears, and action becomes effortless.

The Zone is where Conquerors thrive. It’s built in the early mornings when no one’s watching. It’s forged in the decisions you make when things are hard. And it’s sustained by a relentless focus on the end goal.

You don’t have to love the process to be in the Zone—you just have to be relentless about the result.

What Holds Others Back

Not everyone steps into the Conqueror mindset. Why?

Because staying a Comfort Seeker or a Striver feels safer.

As a Comfort Seeker, you avoid risk and play small. You smooth things over with others, often wearing a mask just to fit in. You avoid discomfort at all costs—but that safety comes with a price: regret.

As a Striver, you work hard but stay stuck chasing validation. You thrive on applause, but that external approval never feels like enough.

The pain of staying small is real. It’s the ache of knowing you’re capable of more but being too afraid to reach for it.

What It Means to Conquer

Being a Conqueror means embracing the discomfort. It means trusting yourself to take the first step, even when you can’t see the whole path.

• • It’s owning your decisions: No more waiting for permission. You know what you want, and you go after it.
  • It’s ruling your space: You don’t compete—you lead. You set the tone and let others follow if they can keep up.
  • It’s conquering challenges: When things get messy, you don’t back down. You adjust, adapt, and keep moving forward.

 

How Being a Conqueror Has Changed My Life

In My Career: Execute or Fail

I’ve never been one to wait for opportunities to land in my lap—I’ve created them. I don’t let feelings dictate my actions. Whether I feel motivated, uncertain, or overwhelmed, I’ve learned to act, no matter the conditions or circumstances.

This hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been necessary. Feelings come and go. Some days, confidence flows effortlessly; other days, doubt creeps in.

But I’ve realized that waiting for the perfect emotional state is a trap. The only thing that matters is execution. Execute or fail.

When launching a new project or taking a leap others hesitated to take, I didn’t wait for the stars to align. I trusted my instincts and moved forward. And when the inevitable mistakes happened? I didn’t dwell on them. Every misstep has been a lesson, a stepping stone that brought me closer to where I wanted to be.

Conquerors don’t linger in the land of “what if.” They act. They pivot when needed, recalibrate their approach, and keep going. Because the truth is, success doesn’t come to those who wait for the perfect moment—it comes to those who create the moment, no matter how messy or imperfect the conditions might seem.

In my career, that mindset has made all the difference. It’s not about how I feel; it’s about what I do. Feelings are fleeting, but action drives results. And as long as I continue to execute, I know failure isn’t an option.

In My Relationships: Authenticity Over Approval

Living as a Conqueror means I approach relationships with unapologetic authenticity. I don’t mold myself to fit others’ expectations, nor do I play small to make others feel comfortable.

Instead, I show up as my true self—clear, direct, and intentional.

This hasn’t always been easy. Speaking my truth and setting boundaries can sometimes feel uncomfortable, especially when it challenges the status quo. But here’s what I’ve learned: the discomfort of being authentic is far less painful than the regret of pretending to be someone you’re not.

In my relationships, I prioritize respect and truth over superficial approval. I don’t chase validation or try to keep the peace by wearing a mask. If something matters, I say it. If something doesn’t align with my values, I walk away.

This doesn’t mean every relationship has been perfect or without its challenges. Being a Conqueror in relationships sometimes means having tough conversations, letting go of people who no longer serve your growth, or standing firm in the face of criticism. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Because when you live authentically, the relationships you build are real. They’re grounded in mutual respect and shared energy, not fleeting approval or shallow connections.

Building Relationships That Thrive

As a Conqueror, I’ve learned a few key principles for building relationships that thrive:

1. 1. Set Boundaries Without Apology: Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re guardrails that protect your energy and priorities. Setting them isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
   2. Surround Yourself With Growth-Oriented People: Seek out relationships with those who inspire you, challenge you, and match your energy. Life is too short for connections that hold you back.
   3. Speak Your Truth, Even When It’s Hard: Real relationships are built on honesty, not on what’s easy to say. Respect and authenticity go hand in hand.
   4. Walk Away When Necessary: Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Knowing when to let go is a strength, not a failure.

I don’t let fear of rejection dictate my actions in relationships. Instead, I trust that showing up as my authentic self will attract the right people—the ones who see, respect, and align with my values and vision.

Owning the Energy You Bring

Being a Conqueror in relationships isn’t just about how others treat you—it’s about the energy you bring to the connection. I strive to lead with integrity, resilience, and compassion. I don’t demand perfection from others, just as I don’t demand it from myself. But I do require truth, effort, and respect.

When you live authentically and hold yourself to high standards, the relationships you cultivate reflect that. They’re deep, meaningful, and rooted in mutual growth. These are the relationships that fuel your journey and make the pursuit of your goals even more fulfilling.

In my experience, authenticity isn’t just a word that sounds good—it’s a way of life. And it’s the foundation of every meaningful connection I’ve ever built.

When it comes to my health, I don’t rely on shaky random motivation to keep me going.

Conquerors don’t wait for the perfect moment or a burst of inspiration to take action—we operate with purpose. For me, that purpose is simple: building a body that supports the vibrant, relentless life I want to live.

I tackle the hardest workouts first, first part of the week, and first part of the workout- not because I love the pain or discomfort, but because I know the results are worth it. Conquerors understand that the work isn’t supposed to be easy—it’s supposed to be effective. Whether it’s an early-morning gym session, a grueling strength-training circuit, or prioritizing recovery when I’d rather push harder, I show up consistently because I trust the process.

Consistency is key, but so is mindset. I don’t let feelings or excuses dictate my actions. Some days, the weights can feel heavier, walking into the gym from the parking lot is more of a chore than an excitement, and the temptation to skip feels larger. But I’ve learned that showing up on the hard days matters most because that’s where resilience is built, progress is made, and automatic habits are formed.

The Conqueror’s Principles for Health and Fitness

1. 1. Purpose Over Motivation: Motivation is fleeting, but purpose is enduring. I don’t work out because I “feel like it”—I work out because it’s part of who I am and what I want to achieve.
   2. Prioritize the Hard Stuff: I start with the toughest exercises, the ones that test my strength and stamina. Not because they’re enjoyable, but because they deliver results.
   3. Consistency is Non-Negotiable: Skipping one session can lead to skipping more. I’ve made consistency part of my identity, so there’s no decision to be made—it’s automatic.
   4. Fuel Your Body With Intention: Eating isn’t about indulgence; it’s about fueling my body for the life I want. Protein, balanced meals, and hydration are tools in my arsenal.
   5. Rest is Part of the Plan: Conquerors know that rest isn’t weakness—it’s strategy. Recovery days aren’t about doing nothing; they’re about allowing my body to rebuild and come back stronger.

The Zone: Where Progress Lives

For me, the Zone isn’t just a state of mind—it’s a place where I thrive. In the Zone, everything clicks: my focus sharpens, my effort multiplies, and my doubts disappear. It’s where every rep, every meal, every decision aligns with my bigger purpose.

When I’m in the Zone, the noise of the world fades. There’s no room for distractions, only clarity. I’m not chasing perfection—I’m chasing progress.

The Conqueror’s Edge: Owning Your Health Journey

Conquerors don’t need external applause to validate their efforts. We already know our worth.

They don’t post all themselves standing in the mirror at the gym to show off to their social media “friends” that they went to the gym (and are doing something that they should be doing anyway)- as this would be a distraction from being in the zone and generating optimal results.

I’m not interested in quick fixes, fad diets, or shortcuts. I’m here for the long game—the kind of progress that compounds over time, creating strength and vitality that lasts a lifetime.

This journey isn’t glamorous, and it’s not always Instagram-worthy. It’s sweaty, gritty, and relentless. It’s choosing the upcharge for the side salad over the fries, waking up before the sun to get that workout in, and saying no to things that don’t align with my goals.

But it’s powerful because every choice I make is building the life I want.

The Zone isn’t a place I visit—it’s where I live. It’s my default mode, the foundation for everything I do. When you step into the Zone, you stop waiting for the perfect moment and start creating the life you’ve always wanted.

Because in the end, your health isn’t just about how you look—it’s about how you live. And I’m here to live unapologetically, relentlessly, and powerfully.

Your Next Move

Are you ready to step into the Zone?

To stop waiting, stop second-guessing, and start owning your life?

The truth is, to have what you really want, you must first become who you really are. And who you are is unshakable, unapologetic, and relentless.

This is your moment. Put your big girl pants on. Own it. Rule it. Conquer it.